


After Allison

by MaddieStilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Angst, Comforting Derek, Crying Stiles, Drunk Stiles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 15:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1693187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieStilinski/pseuds/MaddieStilinski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles glances at him, all tear stained and bloodshot eyes.<br/>‘Why the fuck would I giggle?’</p><p>Derek smiles.<br/>‘Because you were drunk.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	After Allison

**Author's Note:**

> So this one's a little emotional, guys, I'm sorry. I really wanted to know what would happen to Stiles after Allison died, and how he would cope, so I wrote this.
> 
> Fun Fact: I wrote the first half of this while I was drunk. At three am.  
> It's a magical experience, I highly recommend it ;)
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments! Enjoy :)
> 
> (P.S: I am in denial and Derek is still an Alpha please don't hurt me it just worked with the story)

‘Please forgive me,’ Stiles cries, his face buried into Derek’s shoulder. ‘I didn’t… I don’t mean to be like this.’

Derek rubs Stiles’ back, running his hand in long, circular motions across his trembling body.

‘Stiles, stop. It’s not your fault.’

‘But it _is_ my fault,’ Stiles wails and Derek can literally _feel_ his pain. It hits him somewhere deep in his gut, spreading out into his chest. ‘I fucking… I fucked up again. Like I always do. I’m so sorry Derek. I’m so sorry…’

Derek tries to reply, but Stiles is sobbing so hard into his shoulder his tears are soaking his shirt. He closes his eyes, trying to stop the pang of grief working its way into his gut. Because this is _Stiles_. Stiles who never cries. Stiles who made a freaking _joke_ after the nogitsune died. If it was anyone else, this might be a little easier. But it’s not, and Derek has no idea what to do.

Slowly, he peels Stiles away from his shoulder, squeezing his arm gently.

‘We need to sober you up.’

 

The stale smell of whiskey is suffocating, drowning out all other senses, but Derek ignores it. Fumbling slightly, he leads Stiles to the couch, sitting him down against the cushions, because it’s literally the only thing he can think to do.

Keeping one hand planted firmly at his spine, Derek reaches over and hands Stiles a glass of water.

‘Drink this. It’ll make you feel better.'

Stiles takes the water and sips it shakily, his eyes wild a lost and Derek can’t help but feel protective. Stiles might not be a werewolf, but he is part of the pack; part of _his_ pack. And when one of them has a problem, so does their Alpha.

‘God, I’m such an idiot.’

‘You’re not an idiot, Stiles. You’re just drunk. This is what drinking feels like.’

Stiles groans and it’s like someone’s stabbing Derek in the stomach. He tires to search for something in Stiles’ eyes, but aren’t with him; they’re withdrawn, seeing something that only Stiles wants to see.

‘Well then why does anyone drink?’ he groans, finishing the water.

Derek laughs softly, unable to stop the smile that finds its way onto his lips.

‘Because twenty minutes ago, you couldn’t stop giggling.’

Stiles glances at him, all tear stained and bloodshot eyes.

‘Why the fuck would I giggle?’

Derek smiles.

‘Because you were drunk.’

 

Stiles groans again, dropping his head into his hands. ‘Jesus Christ, I feel like crap.’

Derek sighs, nodding at the floor. ‘Yeah that tends to happen.’

Stiles rubs his eyes vigorously with the sleeve of his jumper, wiping away the tears still sliding down his cheeks every now and again.

‘I can’t even remember why I started drinking,’ he says, his voice quiet and low. Derek frowns at the sound. He’s never heard that voice before and he’s almost thee hundred per cent sure he never wants to hear it again. The look on his face, the hopelessness, behind his eyes, it’s fucking heart wrenching and jesus christ, now Derek knows what it’s like to be totally helpless because he wants to fucking destroy whatever caused him to talk like that.

‘Sometimes you don’t need a reason,’ he finally replies, sliding closer to Stiles, who’s managed to slump so low in the pillows, it looks like he’s trying to melt into them.

‘But I did have a reason. A really big… reason.’

Stiles takes a deep breath between words, ploughing his face into his palms. It’s all Derek can do not to reach out and and grab him because he knows he’s trying to hide the tears. He knows because that’s what he always does. He hides from things.

 

For a minute, Derek sits there, just letting Stiles deal with his emotions. He waits for his breathing to slow, for his hands to stop shaking, before he asks anything else.

‘Does this have anything to do with what happened?…

‘What do you-?’

It’s as if Stiles has been hit by a solid brick wall. His whole chest deflates, dropping forward so fast he can’t catch his head in time.

Derek watches as his face collides with the arm of the couch and stays there, his whole body shaking with anguish.

‘Oh my God, Derek. It’s all my fault.’

Now Derek’s rubbing his face because there’s literally no other way he can hide the freaking _torrent_ of emotions tearing through his body.

‘Allison wasn’t you fault Stiles. It was nobody’s fault.’

‘But if I hadn’t…’

‘Don’t you dare.’ Derek nearly falls of the damn couch he gets up so fast, his heart pounding like it’s about to fucking give out. He looms over Stiles but he doesn’t care. This kid… _Jesus Christ_ , this kid’s going to kill him.

‘Don’t you dare blame yourself for that. You couldn’t have stopped it. It was… it was an accident.’

‘No Derek,’ Stiles pipes up, and there’s real anger in his face, not just the pretend annoyance and sassy attitude Derek’s used to. He stands up so he’s facing Derek, the frustration literally boiling him alive. ‘Everyone’s thinking it, aren’t they? They know it’s my fault! If I hadn’t let him him, Allison wouldn’t have… If I just… I should have stopped it…’

Derek watches as Stiles sinks back onto the couch, not even bothering to hide his tears this time. He just sits there, sobbing like there’s nothing else he can do. His hands start to shake again, and this time it spreads to his whole body, until even the cushions he’s sitting on are trembling.

Derek watches helplessly as his breaths become static and shallow, until Stiles is literally gasping with lack of oxygen. He buries his head into his knees, squeezing his hands over his ears, tears pouring down his cheeks.

‘Stiles,’ Derek says, launching himself on the sofa, trying to control his own shaking because he’s literally never been so concerned for anyone before.

‘Stiles, you’ve got to calm down.’

Stiles shakes his head, probably unable to talk. He just carries on rocking, backwards and forwards as he tries to breathe.

‘You can,’ he tries again, prising Stiles’ hands away from his face. ‘Let me show you.’

Slowly, Derek places Stiles’ hand over his heart, squeezing it gently as he holds it down.

‘Concentrate on my heart. Try to match your breathing to mine.’

 

It takes a while, but eventually Stiles calms down. His face still wet with tears, he slumps back into the pillows, staring blankly at the wall.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says quietly, his voice hoarse from crying. ‘I never wanted you to see me like that…’

‘It’s Ok,’ Derek says softly, running his thumb across Stiles’ hand. ‘You don’t have to keep anything from me. I want to help you, but I can’t do that if you don’t let me.’

Stiles sighs and bites his bottom lip. Derek watches as his teeth skim across it, leaving red marks in the plump skin. He wonders when he started wishing it was his teeth leaving those marks.

‘Can I tell you something?’ Stiles asks, avoiding his eye.

‘Of course,’ Derek replies, quietly relieved that Stiles was actually taking to him. Because Stiles never tells anyone how he’s really feeling. That’s just not who he is.

Stiles sits up slightly, clenching his hands in his lap. Derek does the same, but leaves one hand next to him, just in case.

‘When I was…’ he starts, his voice trembling. Derek reaches over and laces their hands together, letting him know it’s ok.

Stiles takes a deep breath. ‘You know when the nogitsune was controlling me? When he was using my body?’

‘Yeah,’ Derek says, quietly. ‘I remember.’

‘It wasn’t just him doing it.’

‘What do you mean?’ Derek asks, frowning slightly. Stiles swallows.

‘It was me,’ he chokes out. ‘I did all those things. And I don’t… I don’t know how he did it, but it was like he trapped me in my own head. I mean, I… I felt myself doing all these things… and I was _screaming_ … I was begging him to stop…’

‘Stiles,’ Derek whispers, turning his face to look at him. His eyes are so empty, so lifeless, that Derek wishes he could just hold him and… and…

 

Derek doesn’t know when he starts kissing Stiles, only that he never wants to stop. Stiles melts into the kiss, his mouth tasting of whisky and tears, but _fuck_ Derek doesn’t care, because all that matters is this kiss. All that matters is that Stiles is here, and that he trusts him.

Derek can’t help the feeling spreading through his entire body; the feeling of safety, of home. The feeling that he can do anything with Stiles and it’ll be alright.

The feeling’s so strong, Derek can still feel it on the tip of his tongue when they pull away, can still feel Stiles’ lips against his, even if they’re not there.

‘Stiles,’ Derek says, staring straight into his eyes. ‘I swear to God, I will never let anything happen to you ever again.’

‘You promise?’ Stiles whispers, letting one last tear slide down his cheek.

Derek pulls him, and Stiles collapses into Derek’s chest, sniffing quietly into the sleeve of his hoodie. Derek holds him, taking away his pain, watching Stiles slowly fall asleep.

It’s just as Stiles’ eyes flutter shut and his breathing steadies that Derek murmurs back.

‘I promise.’

**Author's Note:**

> If you want me to write anything for you, or if you just want to chat about Teen Wolf in general, feel free to visit my [Tumblr](http://sourwolfsam.tumblr.com) and leave me an ask :)


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